Yikes... Christmas is nearly here!

Yet again it's been a while.

I'm on the whole feeling fine; had some leg cramps, hot flushes and felt a bit fed up, side effects of Tamoxifen I think.  The side effects are mild though and they don't really cause me any major day to day problems.

I've become continuously tired, a bit lethargic and 'slow' (mentally too - I didn't have much brain capacity in the first place.) This is the most debilitating side effect for me - although by no means extreme. Everything takes a bit of an effort - especially anything physical. I seem to get out of breath quickly now - which is a common side effect of Herceptin.  I had a second MUGA scan and my heart functionality has dropped by 10%.  I saw my oncologist on Thursday and now because I've signs of mild heart failure (i.e. the shortness of breath) I'm on yet another tablet (Ramipril) which helps to protect the heart. It facilitates a reduction in blood pressure (mine is naturally low) so I could become dizzy or faint - sensibly I must take it last thing at night, when I'm in bed.  I have to go back to the surgery on Monday and get my blood pressure read and then have it read regularly whilst on the medication. I'm not clear how long I need to take it.

I'm a bit fed up as Christmas is round the corner and I want to drink some alcohol!  In spite of the drugs I think I'll manage to sneak the odd beverage in - my brain capacity might not be firing on all four cylinders but I can always work out where my next drink is coming from ;)

Apart from the above news I don't have much to report - except we've had lots of visitors and little days out. I've had a continuous stream of cards, gifts, kind words and support from friends, family, professionals and strangers (somebody came up and gave me a cwtch outside the hospital).  In some ways I feel stronger than I've ever felt before in spirit and I refuse to let cancer break me - though I know I really am one of the lucky ones.  Give somebody a hug this Christmas, anybody. It's the greatest gift.

Happy Christmas \ Nadolig Llawen

Nadolig Llawen

Christmas with bells on

What do I most look forward to at Christmas?

Well for one it's not receiving the credit card bill in the post...

My stress levels continue to rise throughout December whilst I glare and mutter at the grid locked car parks in town trying in vain to either find a space or leave the blimmin place.  Only when safely inside my metal box do I rant though - giving all the expletives I've ever known a right old airing.  The queues at the tills once inside the shops are the same, only a little more up close and personal.  A rugby scrum without the ball.

I find the challenge of trying to think of imaginative gifts that cost a fiver but look like I've spent £30.00 gets more difficult year on year.

I don't like wrapping presents either... I'm afraid it's cutting erratically, wrestling with the sellotape, slapping on a label.  Job done.  The quality is never very good but definitely degrades as time goes on. 

Other things that make my festive cup runneth over include unravelling the tree lights and then trying to 'artistically' wrap them around the tree without losing all the needles in the process.

Writing hundreds of cards, some with unreadable hand scripted notes and then going bankrupt sending them all.

Reading others' computer generated and generic round robins to find they are living the perfect life, with perfect homes, A* grade children and at least three exotic and expensive holidays to write reams about (photos included - just to prove it).

Smiling inanely as I open my fifth present containing notelets.

Playing the obligatory round of charades - I find it difficult to hold my stomach in so it looks flat(ish) from all the angles.

Strangely, removing all the cards, tree and decorations after the event. The house always seems so bare and empty afterwards and it hits me that there's only the rest of January to look forward to. Oh joy.

Why do we do it? 

For me, G11's smile is probably why.



I can't find a recent photo of G11 (I'm always too busy just watching her face)
so instead here is the smallest member of our family enjoying Christmas.

I wish I was a bear

Wow, it's been a blur. Dad's hospital, not the most local, was an hour away, so visits meant every afternoon lost for two weeks. Amongst this disruption to the daily routine J and I had to take up the reigns of G11's after school activities, which is no mean feat. Usually we tend to do two of the five but for a while when Dad was hospitalised or back home and recuperating we were up to the full quota, and everything in this neck of the woods is half an hour drive away!

Old friends coming to stay - and us visiting old friends. My friend's wedding in England to attend and J's Mum's 90th middle of November.  Between these two momentous celebrations we were trying to arrange a craft fair to raise funds for our local church, often an organisational nightmare... It took up a surprising amount of free time. I remember saying 'never again' at least once a day for the week beforehand. 

G11's homework is serious and nightly. We spend more time encouraging, supporting and providing the space to do it in than we have ever done before. It's tiring - and not just for G11.

Our own work too has become incredibly busy, which is a good thing, but when you work for yourself and the buck stops with you this can mean long days to keep on top of it.

They say Christmas is coming.

Please I wanna stop now and hibernate until January.
 

 

Blwyddyn Newydd Dda \ Happy New Year

You +1'd this publicly. Undo

Not functioning on all four cylinders this morning; so as a picture paints a thousand words I've taken that shortcut.

Iechyd da \ Cheers

Christmas austerity (aka Scrooge like tendencies)

Well times are tight... how to economise on the Christmas time spending spree?  Hmmmm.

I'm sorry, try as I might we still shop at Tesco.  One beneficial side effect of this is their double your points offers (part of their reward scheme).  This year I took full advantage and bought some toys and alcohol direct in the store - with vouchers that during a specified period of time can be exchanged for double the face value. I do think you need an A level or something in how to redeem vouchers, but I was on a mission and nothing would deter me from it.

Although I was pleased with myself, I had to go back and buy a toy I didn't really want as I was one penny short of my voucher sum - and you have to spend equal to or more than the total value.  (I was informed of this by someone who took rather too much pleasure at the prospect of making me stand at the back of the five mile queue again).

I bought quite a few gifts at local craft fairs.  Good value for money, locally made.  Result.

I thought about culling the card writing... but still can't bring myself to do it.  We've many visitors over December so all cards and gifts that can be handed out, are being.  Just to save on the postage.

I received a few items ordered from Amazon.  Unfortunately a smashed nail varnish in one parcel ruined the packaging of the other items contained therein.  Amazon replaced immediately and did not want the originals returned.  Of course this is great service and they now have a loyal customer who will continue buying from them.  I have re-packed the affected items myself though and they are still going to be gifted - albeit smelling pungently of ethyl acetate.

G10 is looking to wrap up some pre-loved books to share this Christmas.

If I could I would make beautiful things... but I am just not talented enough.

I try to buy thoughtful presents.  But they will not be expensive things I'm afraid.  J and I rarely buy much for each other - just a small gift so G10 can see us giving and receiving.  This saves us money.  If there is something we particularly need or want we can always treat ourselves in the January sales and pay half the price for it.

We've never bought much for G10 either.  She asks for little.  She is always pleased with whatever she gets.  Certainly until she was 7 or 8 we could have given her a cardboard box and she'd have been happy with that.  We try to save for her regularly though instead.  And of course she has grandparents and a large family that spoil her.  She does OK.  I also think that it's important not to get everything handed to you on a plate just because you asked for it.  Santa has limits.  (Perhaps I'm a cruel mummy). 

I refuse to go into debt over Christmas. 

Ahh the Christmas tree.   Now they have become expensive.  But really it's our only decoration. We have a few other bits and bobs around.  But the tree is predominantly it.  OK I splurged here - but it's a gift to all of us and our friends and family visiting over December and the festive period. 

Nadolig Llawen i pawb.

Our Christmas treat.

Christmas traditions

I think each family has a unique Christmas but made all the more special in the knowledge that something similar is happening in other homes all across the world.

Here are some of our family traditions - how similar are they to your own?

G8 opens her advent calendar from the 1st December - little wooden symbols to hang on a Christmas scene. Now the dog has to have one too (for heaven's sake!) although hers is of the chocolate variety.

The three of us; J, G8 and me go to choose the Christmas tree for our house - it takes a bit of ooing and ahhing and how big is thating before we can all agree on the best one. Once home the smell is gorgeous and fills the room. G8 and I decorate, we're as happy as Larry and it can take hours of faffing. We have a fairy on top.

In Christmas week we go to Church, which in our case is at the bottom of the garden. This year G8 is in the play with the Llysyfran Mummers and there are refreshments, including warm punch afterwards. There are also games and a Welsh concert party by ALAW. Bendigedig! Donations are going to Shelter Cymru's Christmas Appeal this year.

Christmas Eve we prepare a (rather large) shot of whisky & a mince pie or two for Santa and a carrot for Rudolph. Then we all have to work out which chimney he is going to come down - each year since moving we've had the same discussion. I assure G8 it won't be the Rayburn as he'll burn his bum, likewise the wood burner. Instead it'll be the one we don't use in the dining area. Here we then very carefully lay out all the wares ready for Santa's night time visit.

A newer, more technological tradition for our nuclear family has been tracking Santa using http://www.noradsanta.org/ Great fun - there are also lots of Christmas games for all who are young at heart, try it!

Finally, it feels, we pack G8 off to bed - relief. To wind her down beforehand we read Christmas stories in front of the wood burner with oodles of hot chocolate for all.

Once G8 has given in to sleep we spend our time scurrying around, drinking whisky, eating mince pies and Topsy Dog helps with the carrot now. It's hard, but someone has to do it.

We pack G8's stocking up with little goodies, including a small orange. We believe this represents the gold that Father Christmas first dropped when coming down the chimney and which had been luckily caught in a stocking instead of being lost in the grate. Did you also know that green was the traditional colour for the British Father Christmas (remember in A Christmas Carol the Spirit of Christmas Present?) It was Coca Cola ads that ''popularised'' red as the color of Santa's suit in 1931. I learnt that last week in Chapel (our neighbours had invited us to a family service. It was really lovely and we met Santa, although not the "real thing" of course - he only comes Christmas Eve).

First thing Christmas morning G8 bounds in to our bedroom, we've tried to get her to look at her clock and not to jump on the bed before 4am! This year we've installed a fibre optic tree in her bedroom, which lights up at exactly 7am, do we have any hope that she'll wait for this before leaping on us? My guess is nope, not a chance!

G8 opens her Christmas stocking in a frenzy on our bed... this is my favourite part of the day really... it's so cosy and it's a joy to watch her face.

We have always trooped over to Him and Her Next Door for the big event - nowadays we don't have to get wet and de-ice the car, we can just walk down the back corridor and there we are! Santa has usually been extra busy here. We start with a Bucks Fizz, yum and G8 is the elf for the day reading the labels and handing out the presents. We have always done one gift at a time - as part of the joy for all of us is the giving, seeing what others get and watching faces light up (or drop on occasion!) It takes longer but I think it's important for G8 to realise that giving is just as lovely as getting.

Of course we then eat way too much, drink a little more and collapse in a heap of exhaustion at the end of the day. But for the magic of Christmas for the children (of all ages) it really is worth it.

Christmas comes but once a year

thank goodness.

The great writing of the cards started early this year as I knew all would be chaos with the kitchen half done... It's very tempting to do a round robin on the PC but for some bizarre reason I ritualistically hand write notes in all the cards where I haven't seen someone in a while.

It can take some time and I get hand ache as I never use pen and paper really at any other time of the year... except perhaps to write a cheque or a note to myself, but nothing of any substantial content.

My Christmas witterings to others is mainly inane rubbish, I gabble on not in the least sure anyone is at all interested (bit like this blog really!) But I insist on doing it every year.

I get constant interruptions from (in descending order) G8, the dog, J, Her and Him Next Door. I end up making silly mistakes; love from Me and the dog - hmmm, Benblydd Hapus, Dear Joan and Joan - the list is long. Unlike the PC I can't undo my mistakes without leaving a trace that they were ever there, I have to either cross it out or start again.

This year we had a lovely card from Viking Direct, now I have never been round to the Viking Direct's for tea lately so I am not sure regarding the return card whether to write a chatty note or just Happy Christmas from all of us. Modern etiquette is a minefield.

Between Her Next Door and me (I think J managed to write one card so far - and he said he might just do mine) we have kept the local postman in a job. We needed a bag to get the cards to the post box and a loan for the stamps. We try hard to grab visitors when they come to take some home with them, but there is a limit on how many we can do this way.

Someone who will remain nameless (but you know who you are), always sends Christmas cards from her work's franking machine. This brings back memories. When I worked at the bank someone got caught out doing that when a card got returned - address unknown. All the staff were called together for a group dressing down and the offending card was waved in front of us as a deterrent (we all tended to sneak the odd card in and they knew it)! Not quite in the politicians league but it stopped me dead - I am such a wimp. Now in any case I haven't a franking machine within a hundred mile radius so it's back to the stamp.

After finishing the cards all I've got to do now is wrap the presents and decorate the tree - what a doddle!